The hostel that wasn't: An unexpected fear

 My Book

in United KIngdom

in United States of America

in Germany

in India

in Japan  

1 

From 'Hindi Diwas' to 'Vishwa Hindi Diwas': Why, When, and How?

Every year on September 14, India celebrates 'Hindi Diwas,' a day that commemorates the Constituent Assembly's decision on September 14, 1949, to adopt Hindi as the official language of the country. This day is dedicated to honoring the significance and pride of the Hindi language. But have you ever wondered why, in addition to 'Hindi Diwas,' there's also a 'Vishwa Hindi Diwas' (World Hindi Day), and what the difference is between the two?

Hindi Diwas: A Symbol of National Pride

As the name suggests, 'Hindi Diwas' is a national celebration. It marks the historic decision of September 14, 1949. On this day, various events are organized across schools, colleges, government offices, and other institutions throughout the country. The main objective of these events is to promote the use of the Hindi language and introduce people to its richness and simplicity. This day reminds us of our cultural and linguistic identity and inspires us to fulfill our duty towards Hindi.

Vishwa Hindi Diwas: Towards a Global Identity

'Vishwa Hindi Diwas' is celebrated annually on January 10. Its history is slightly different from 'Hindi Diwas,' but its goal is also to promote Hindi, albeit on a global platform. The first 'World Hindi Conference' was held in Nagpur on January 10, 1975. The conference was attended by 122 delegates from 30 countries. Its primary objective was to establish Hindi as an international language.

In memory of this historic conference, then-Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh declared January 10 as 'Vishwa Hindi Diwas' in 2006. Since then, the day has been celebrated worldwide. Its purpose is to not just confine Hindi within the borders of India but to give it recognition as a global language.

How and Why Are These Two Days Different?

Both days are dedicated to Hindi, but their objectives and scope are different.

Why? The purpose of Hindi Diwas is to establish the importance of Hindi in India and promote its use as the official language. On the other hand, the goal of Vishwa Hindi Diwas is to gain global recognition for Hindi and promote its spread in foreign countries.

When? Hindi Diwas is celebrated on September 14, while Vishwa Hindi Diwas is on January 10.

 How? Hindi Diwas is primarily celebrated in government and educational institutions within India. In contrast, Vishwa Hindi Diwas is specially celebrated by Indian embassies and high commissions located abroad, where various programs and conferences are organized.

In summary, 'Hindi Diwas' is a symbol of our national pride that connects us to our roots, while 'Vishwa Hindi Diwas' is a symbol of Hindi's global journey, giving it a new identity beyond India's borders. Together, both days strengthen the importance of Hindi at both national and international levels.

A Primer on Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy designed to help individuals and couples address issues related to sexual function, intimacy, and satisfaction. It's a field that combines psychological principles with a deep understanding of human sexuality.

A cornerstone of sex therapy is a foundational knowledge of the sexual response cycle, a model that describes the physiological and psychological stages of sexual arousal and activity. The most widely recognized model, developed by Masters and Johnson, includes four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Understanding these stages is crucial for identifying where a dysfunction may be occurring.

Sexual dysfunctions are common concerns addressed in therapy. These include difficulties with desire (e.g., hypoactive sexual desire disorder), arousal (e.g., female sexual arousal disorder, erectile dysfunction), orgasm (e.g., anorgasmia, premature ejaculation), and pain (e.g., dyspareunia, vaginismus). Therapy provides a safe space to explore the root causes, which can be a complex interplay of psychological, physical, and relational factors.

How therapy works typically involves a mix of talk therapy and behavioral exercises. The therapist helps clients explore their beliefs, emotions, and communication patterns related to sex. Homework assignments, such as sensate focus exercises—a series of non-genital touching exercises designed to reduce performance anxiety and increase awareness of pleasure—are often a part of the treatment plan. The goal is to change ingrained patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling sexual experience.

It's important to recognize the influence of cultural context on sexual health. Culture-bound syndromes, such as koro (anxiety that one's genitals are shrinking and disappearing) or dhat syndrome (anxiety associated with the passing of semen), highlight how specific cultural beliefs can manifest as sexual concerns. A competent sex therapist is culturally sensitive and understands how societal norms, religious beliefs, and personal upbringing shape an individual's sexual narrative.

Despite the proven benefits, there are significant barriers to treatment. Stigma and shame surrounding sexual issues often prevent people from seeking help. Lack of awareness about the availability and efficacy of sex therapy, financial constraints, and a shortage of qualified therapists further complicate access to care. Overcoming these barriers is essential to improving sexual health on a broader scale.

Is route ki sabhi laaine vyast hain

The Paradox of the Busy Line

"All lines on this route are busy."

It's a phrase we hear often, a cold, automated voice delivering an impersonal message of unavailability. We nod, we wait, we try again, accepting this as a normal part of our modern, hyper-connected lives. But what if this isn't just a technical glitch? What if it's the defining metaphor for the human condition in the digital age?

We live on routes of our own making, digital highways where we collect followers, friends, and connections like milestones. Our social feeds are buzzing with likes, comments, and shares—a constant stream of affirmation and attention. We curate our lives, crafting perfect images and witty captions, building a public persona that suggests we are thriving, loved, and never alone. On the surface, our lines are not just busy; they're overflowing.

Yet, beneath this bustling facade, a deep and gnawing loneliness persists. We are surrounded by people, but are we truly connected to any of them? We might have thousands of followers, but when was the last time we had a truly meaningful conversation with one of them, one that went beyond a quick DM or a surface-level comment? The paradox is profound: we are more visible than ever, but feel more invisible than ever before.

This loneliness isn't the classic, physical isolation of a hermit on a mountaintop. It's a modern, psychological loneliness born of the very tools designed to prevent it. It's the ache of knowing everyone's highlights reel while feeling no one truly knows our bloopers. We post about our struggles, but often get a stream of 'you got this!' emojis, not the empathetic ear we truly need. We scroll through a friend's vibrant vacation photos while sitting alone in a quiet room, the contrast sharpening the feeling of our own solitude.

The "busy line" isn't a lack of people; it’s a lack of authentic engagement. We're all waiting to be connected to something real, but the lines are jammed with so much noise—the incessant need to post, to prove, to perform. We've traded deep, one-on-one connections for shallow, broad-based validation. The conversation is happening, but it's a cacophony, not a dialogue.

So how do we break this cycle? We must learn to disconnect from the busy lines and seek out the quiet ones. This means putting down the phone and looking up. It means choosing quality over quantity, a single, deep conversation with a friend over a thousand fleeting likes from strangers. It means embracing vulnerability, showing up as our authentic selves without the filter, and offering the same grace to others.

The truth is, our deepest need is not to have a line of followers, but to have a few people we can truly connect with, who see us for who we are—flaws and all. We must stop trying to make our digital lines busy and instead focus on making our human connections meaningful. Only then can we find our way back to true belonging, and finally hear the sweet sound of an open line.

Makeup hides pain

​

The Roman philosopher Plautus wrote: “A woman without paint is like food without salt.”

Makeup is often seen as a tool for enhancing beauty, a way to add a splash of color or sculpt a face. But for many, it's so much more. It's a shield, a mask, a form of armor against the world. Beneath layers of foundation and concealer, a different story unfolds—one of sorrow, struggle, and emotional pain.

​We've all been there: getting ready for work or a night out, meticulously applying our makeup to create a flawless look. Perhaps we've just had an argument, received bad news, or are simply feeling overwhelmed. The act of putting on makeup becomes a meditative ritual, a way to distract ourselves from the turmoil within. Each stroke of the brush, each dab of the sponge, helps to build a facade of normalcy. We are, in effect, painting on a brave face, hoping that the vibrant lipstick or perfectly winged eyeliner will convince both others and ourselves that everything is okay.

​This isn't about vanity; it's about survival. Makeup can be a quiet act of rebellion against our own suffering. It's a way to reclaim a sense of control when our world feels like it's spinning out of control. The carefully constructed look we present to the world is a silent promise that we will get through this, no matter how much we hurt. It's the silent tear hidden by a coat of mascara, the shaky hand steadied by a compact mirror.

​The next time you see someone with a perfectly made-up face, remember that their smile might be hiding a story of pain. That seemingly effortless beauty might be their way of finding strength, a daily reminder that even on the toughest days, they can still face the world.

Picture Credit: The Guardian

The shared tear: A story

The old banyan tree in the village square was Maya’s secret keeper. Every afternoon, after school, she'd sit beneath its sprawling branches, feeling the quiet hum of the village around her. It wasn't just the sounds of laughter or the distant clanging of a blacksmith's hammer; it was something deeper, a feeling of shared breath.

One day, a harsh drought struck. The fields cracked, the well ran dry, and the vibrant laughter in the square faded into worried whispers. Maya saw her mother’s tired eyes, her father’s furrowed brow. A heavy sadness settled over the village, and it settled in Maya’s own heart too. It was as if every tear, every fear, was a drop in a giant, invisible pool that everyone drank from. She felt the collective despair as keenly as her own hunger.

Then, one evening, an elder suggested a village prayer under the banyan tree. As everyone gathered, their voices, normally individual, merged into a single, hopeful chant. Maya closed her eyes. She felt not just her own hope, but the concentrated hope of every person present. It was a warmth, a gentle pressure, a knowing that they were all wishing for the same thing, together. That night, a soft drizzle began, slowly turning into a steady rain. Maya knew it wasn't just a coincidence. It was the universe responding to their collective spirit, a testament to the powerful, unspoken connection that bound them all. The banyan tree seemed to sigh with relief, just like everyone else.

The Shared Mind: A Psychological View of Collective Consciousness

The concept of collective consciousness, first introduced by sociologist Émile Durkheim, has a profound psychological dimension. While often viewed as a purely social phenomenon, it can be understood as the psychological bedrock upon which a society's norms, values, and beliefs are built. From a psychological perspective, it is not a mystical entity but rather an emergent property of shared human cognition, social interaction, and emotional resonance.

At its core, collective consciousness is about shared mental representations. Humans are inherently social creatures, and our minds are wired to seek connection and conformity. When we interact within a group—be it a family, a community, or a nation—our individual thoughts and feelings begin to align. This process is driven by several key psychological mechanisms.

Firstly, there is social learning and modeling. From a young age, we observe and imitate the behaviors, beliefs, and emotional responses of those around us. This is how we internalize the unwritten rules of our culture. We learn what is considered "normal" or "acceptable," and these mental scripts form a shared framework for social interaction.

Secondly, emotional contagion plays a vital role. This is the phenomenon where a person's emotions and related behaviors trigger similar emotions in others. Think of the powerful, unifying feelings at a national sports event or the shared grief during a collective tragedy. These emotional experiences are not just individual; they are contagious, creating a powerful sense of unity and shared identity. This shared emotional state reinforces a group’s sense of solidarity and purpose.

Furthermore, cognitive biases contribute significantly. The conformity bias, for example, is our tendency to adopt the behaviors or opinions of the group to fit in and feel accepted. The groupthink phenomenon, a more extreme form of this, shows how a desire for harmony or conformity can lead to irrational or dysfunctional decision-making. These psychological biases help explain why shared beliefs—even those lacking individual critical thought—can become so deeply entrenched and difficult to challenge.

In modern, diverse societies, collective consciousness is not a single, monolithic entity. Instead, it is a complex tapestry of various sub-groups with their own shared beliefs and values. This can lead to both harmony and conflict. When the values of different groups clash, social tension can rise. However, when shared values—such as a commitment to justice, freedom, or community—emerge, they can become a powerful force for social cohesion and positive change.

Ultimately, the psychological perspective on collective consciousness reveals it as a dynamic, evolving construct rooted in our innate need for belonging, our capacity for empathy, and the powerful influence of social environments on our individual minds. It is the "social mind" that guides our behavior, shapes our identity, and connects us to the larger human narrative.

​"Selfie mania has vanished picture era"

​

In the grand tapestry of human expression, few inventions have been as transformative as the camera. For over a century, photography was a deliberate art form, a meticulous process of capturing moments. Families gathered for portraits, landscapes were meticulously framed, and events were documented with a sense of permanence and purpose. This was the "picture era," a time when a photograph was a treasured object, often printed, placed in an album, and passed down through generations. But with the advent of the smartphone and the cultural phenomenon of the "selfie," that era appears to have vanished.

​The selfie is not merely a self-portrait; it's a completely new genre of visual communication. It is born of a culture of instant gratification and constant self-documentation, fueled by the relentless engine of social media. The traditional photograph was about capturing a moment—a place, a person, an event—for posterity. The selfie, by contrast, is often about capturing the self in a moment, an act of performance and self-presentation. It's less about the scene and more about the subject.

​The rise of the selfie has fundamentally altered our relationship with the camera. No longer a tool for objective observation, the camera has become a mirror. We curate our online identities through a stream of perfectly angled, filtered, and often retouched self-portraits. This shift has had a profound impact. The focus has moved from the world around us to the face in the frame. We take pictures not to remember a beautiful sunset, but to show that we were there to witness it. The emphasis is on our presence, our experience, and our perceived appearance.

​This constant self-curation has led to a devaluation of the photograph as a historical artifact. While a family photo from the 1980s tells a story of an era, complete with awkward poses and genuine smiles, a modern digital gallery is often a collection of individual performances. The candid, spontaneous shot has been replaced by the meticulously staged selfie. The act of taking a picture has shifted from a shared experience to an individual one, even when others are present. The group selfie, for example, is often a series of individual portraits taken within a collective setting, each person more concerned with their own expression than with the collective moment.

​In this new "selfie mania," the traditional picture has not been eliminated, but it has certainly been pushed to the sidelines. The picture era was about a shared memory; the selfie era is about a personal brand. It's a shift from documentation to performance, from observation to self-obsession. While the camera remains a powerful tool, its primary purpose for many has changed from a window on the world to a reflection of the self. The art of capturing a genuine, unadulterated moment has been overshadowed by the desire to present a perfected, filtered version of ourselves, and in doing so, the very essence of what a "picture" once was has been lost to the digital tide.  

Carl Jungian's theory and Ardhanarishvar

Carl Jung's psychology, specifically the anima/animus archetypes, projection, and the process of individuation, and it correctly draws a parallel to the Hindu deity Ardhanarishvara.

Jungian psychology:

​"मनोवैज्ञानिक कार्ल जुंग ने बताया- हर पुरुष के भीतर एक स्त्री छिपी हुई है, अपने भीतर छिपी स्त्री की तरह दिखने वाली स्त्री की तलाश आदमी बाहर करता है।"

(Psychologist Carl Jung said - every man has a woman hidden inside, and a man searches for a woman outside who looks like the woman hidden inside him.) - This  reflects Jung's concept of the anima. He believed the anima is the unconscious feminine side of a man. A man often projects his anima onto women he meets in the world, which can influence his romantic choices.

​"तुम्हें हर स्त्री पसंद नहीं आती लेकिन जो स्त्री पसंद आती है वो थोड़ी बहुत तुम्हारे अंदर की स्त्री की तरह दिखती है इसलिए तुम एक स्त्री के पीछे पागल होकर उसके प्यार में पड़ जाते हो।" (You don't like every woman, but the woman you do like looks a little like the woman inside you, which is why you go crazy for a woman and fall in love with her.) - This is simplify explains the psychological process of projection as it relates to the anima. A man is attracted to a woman who embodies the qualities of his unconscious anima.

​"भारत में सदियों पहले इस सत्य को जान लिया और हमने शिवजी का अर्धनारीश्वर रूप बनाया।" (In India, this truth was known centuries ago, and we created the Ardhanarishvara form of Shiva.).

Jung himself was heavily influenced by Eastern philosophy and spirituality, seeing parallels between his psychological archetypes and figures from Hindu, Buddhist, and Taoist traditions. The Ardhanarishvara (half male, half female) is a powerful symbol of the union of masculine and feminine principles, which resonates strongly with the anima/animus concept.

​"जब तक कोई साधना में अपने अंदर के उस पुरुष या स्त्री को ना पा ले तब तक उसे सुकून नहीं मिलेगा। अपने अंदर उसे पा लेना ही आत्मज्ञान है।" (Until someone in their spiritual practice finds that man or woman within them, they will not find peace. Finding them within oneself is self-realization.) - This is close Jungian concept of individuation. Jung believed the goal of psychological development is to integrate the conscious and unconscious parts of the self, including the anima or animus. By becoming aware of and integrating these archetypes, a person achieves a more complete and balanced state of being, which Jung would call psychological wholeness. The text equates this integration with "आत्मज्ञान" (self-realization).

Homesickness in UnderGraduate students

Homesickness is a common and normal experience for many undergraduate students, especially during their first year away from home. The transition to college life involves a significant shift in environment, routine, and social dynamics, which can trigger feelings of distress.

The symptoms of homesickness can vary in intensity and may include a range of emotional, physical, and behavioral changes. These can be easily confused with other mental health issues, such as depression, so it's important to be aware of the specific signs.

Emotional and Psychological Symptoms

​Sadness, loneliness, and feelings of emptiness.

​Anxiety and stress about the new environment.

​Irritability or mood swings.

​A sense of not belonging or not fitting in.

​Obsessive thoughts about home, family, and friends.

Physical and Behavioral Symptoms

​Trouble sleeping or a disturbed sleep schedule.

​Changes in appetite.

​Lack of concentration, which can affect academic performance.

​Withdrawn behavior and social isolation.

​Feeling generally unwell.

​Coping Strategies and Remedies

​While homesickness is a challenging experience, there are many effective ways for students to manage these feelings and successfully adjust to their new life.

​1. Stay Connected, but with Boundaries:

Schedule regular phone calls or video chats with family and friends from home. Seeing their faces and hearing their voices can provide comfort.

While staying in touch is important, excessive contact can sometimes make homesickness worse. It's crucial to find a balance that allows you to connect with home while also engaging in your new life.

​2. Get Involved and Build a New Community:

Participating in extracurricular activities, sports teams, or interest groups is an excellent way to meet new people with similar interests.

​Attend campus events, social gatherings, and don't be afraid to strike up conversations with classmates, roommates, or people in your residence hall. Building new friendships is a key step in creating a sense of belonging.

​Get to know your new city or town. Visit local attractions, try new restaurants, and attend cultural events. This can help you feel more comfortable and connected to your new environment.

​3. Establish a Routine and a Sense of Stability:

​Create a daily schedule: Having a predictable routine for classes, studying, meals, and free time can provide a sense of structure and stability in an unfamiliar setting.

​Personalize your living space: Decorate your dorm room or apartment with photos, mementos, and other items that remind you of home. This can make your new space feel more personal and comforting.

​4. Practice Self-Care

Make sure you are eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. Taking care of your physical well-being has a significant impact on your mental and emotional state.

Acknowledge that feeling homesick is a normal part of a major life transition. Give yourself time and grace to adjust, and don't feel ashamed or embarrassed about your feelings.

Talk to someone about how you're feeling. This could be a friend, a family member, a roommate, or a university support staff member.

​5. Seek Professional Support

Most universities offer a variety of support services, such as counseling, a well-being team, or mental health advisors. These professionals are trained to help students navigate challenges like homesickness and can provide valuable guidance and resources.

If homesickness becomes overwhelming and starts to interfere with your daily life, don't hesitate to seek help from a resident advisor (RA), a professor, or a dean.

Are you seeking help, ping me.

The emotional pain of rejection

Rejection, a common yet painful human experience, often triggers a cascade of negative emotions. While sadness and hurt are typical responses, a less-understood and more concerning reaction is aggression. This link between social rejection and aggression is a significant topic in social psychology, with research showing that feeling ostracized or excluded can lead to hostile thoughts, angry outbursts, and even violent behavior. The connection isn't a direct cause-and-effect relationship; rather, it’s a complex interplay of psychological and neurological factors.

The emotional pain of rejection is not just metaphorical; it's a real, tangible experience. Brain imaging studies have shown that social exclusion activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. This "social pain" can be deeply distressing, threatening our fundamental need to belong. When we're rejected, it signals a potential threat to our social standing and survival, as historically, being part of a group was essential for protection and resource sharing. This perceived threat can trigger a fight-or-flight response, with aggression being one manifestation of the "fight" instinct.

A key factor in this process is the blow to our self-esteem. Rejection makes us feel unworthy and devalued, which can be a profound psychological injury. To cope with this feeling of powerlessness, some individuals may lash out aggressively. This aggression can be a way to reassert a sense of control and regain lost status. By inflicting pain or showing dominance over others, the rejected individual might feel a temporary boost in their self-worth. This dynamic is particularly evident in situations of romantic rejection, where a person might turn hostile or aggressive toward their ex-partner in an attempt to restore their ego.

Furthermore, the act of rejection can be perceived as an intentional act of harm. When someone rejects us, we might attribute their actions to malicious intent, fueling a desire for revenge. The aggression that follows can be a way of "getting even" or punishing the person who caused the pain. This retaliatory behavior is a common pattern, especially when the rejection is public or particularly humiliating.

The link between rejection and aggression creates a vicious cycle. An individual who feels rejected may act aggressively, which in turn leads to further social rejection. For example, a person who is consistently left out of social groups may become resentful and hostile. This hostility pushes people further away, reinforcing their initial feelings of rejection and leading to even more aggressive behavior. This cycle can be particularly damaging in school settings, where rejected children may act out aggressively, making it even harder for them to form friendships.

It’s crucial to recognize that not everyone responds to rejection with aggression. Individual differences play a significant role. Factors such as personality traits (e.g., impulsivity, narcissism), past experiences with rejection, and the presence of social support systems can all influence how a person reacts. Those with strong social support and healthy coping mechanisms are more likely to process rejection in a non-aggressive way, seeking comfort and understanding instead of resorting to hostility. Understanding this complex psychological link is essential for developing interventions that can help individuals cope with the pain of rejection in a constructive, non-violent manner.